If you're in trouble, he will save the day He's brave and he's fearless, come what may Without him the mission would go astray, He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold, Rimmer, Without him life would be much grimmer, He's handsome, trim, and no-one's slimmer, He will never need a Zimmer. He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer More reliable than a garden strimmer He's never been mistaken for Yul Brynner He's not bald and his head doesn't glimmer. Master of wit and repartee, His command of space directives is uncanny How come he's such a genius? - Don't ask me, Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold, Rimmer He's also a fantastic swimmer and if you play your cards right, then he just might Come round for dinner.