you're in trouble, he will save the day
brave and he's fearless, come what may
him the mission would go astray,
Arnold, Arnold, Arnold, Rimmer,
him life would be much grimmer,
handsome, trim, and no-one's slimmer,
will never need a Zimmer.
Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer
reliable than a garden strimmer
never been mistaken for Yul Brynner
not bald and his head doesn't glimmer.
of wit and repartee,
command of space directives is uncanny
come he's such a genius? - Don't ask me,
Arnold, Arnold, Arnold, Rimmer
also a fantastic swimmer
if you play your cards right, then he just might
round for dinner.