Jokes
How
do crazy people go through the forest?
They
take the psycho path.
How
do you get holy water?
Boil
the hell out of it.
What
did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
What
do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
What
do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell
phones.
What
do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
National
Dyslexics Association.
What
do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A
stick.
What
do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho
Cheese.
What
do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate
Clauses.
What
do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro
sinko.
What
do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled
milk.
What
do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What
has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would
kill you?
A
pool table.
What
lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A
nervous wreck.
What's
the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone
can roast beef.
Why
are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
They
all have phones.
Why
do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're
trying to get away from the noise.
What
do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A
dog that runs for help ... after it bites your leg off.
What
does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post office?
They're
hiring.
What
kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka.