Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
  Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.
  Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them.

  Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
  Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
  Ugly: You're in them.

  Good: Your husband understands fashion.
  Bad: He's a cross dresser.
  Ugly: He looks better than you.

  Good: Your son's finally maturing.
  Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
  Ugly: So are you.

  Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter.
  Bad: She keeps interrupting.
  Ugly: With corrections.

  Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
  Bad: She wants a divorce.
  Ugly: She's a lawyer.

  Good: The postman's early.
  Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47.
  Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.