BUMPER STICKERS EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE       I LOVE ANIMALS,  THEY TASTE GREAT. EARTH FIRST!  WE'LL STRIP-MINE THE OTHER PLANETS LATER. VERY FUNNY, SCOTTY, . . .  NOW BEAM DOWN MY CLOTHES A FLASHLIGHT IS A CASE FOR HOLDING DEAD BATTERIES. "CRIMINAL LAWYER" IS A REDUNDANCY. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE USUALLY BEATS REAL STUPIDITY. WHAT IS A "FREE" GIFT?  AREN'T ALL GIFTS FREE? BETTER TO UNDERSTAND A LITTLE THAN TO MISUNDERSTAND A LOT. IF YOU ARE PSYCHIC - THINK "HONK" AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY! SUICIDAL TWIN KILLS SISTER BY MISTAKE. I'M NOT A COMPLETE IDIOT, SOME PARTS ARE MISSING. THERE'S TOO MUCH BLOOD IN MY CAFFEINE SYSTEM. I USED TO HAVE A HANDLE ON LIFE, THEN IT BROKE. COVER ME, I'M GOING TO CHANGE LANES. THERE ARE THREE KINDS OF PEOPLE: THOSE WHO CAN COUNT AND THOSE WHO CAN'T. GIVE ME AMBIGUITY OR GIVE ME SOMETHING ELSE. WE HAVE ENOUGH YOUTH, HOW ABOUT A FOUNTAIN OF SMART? WE ARE BORN NAKE, WET AND HUNGRY.  THEN THINGS GET WORSE. HONK IF YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED TO LIZ TAYLOR. MAKE IT IDIOT PROOF AND SOMEONE WILL MAKE A BETTER IDIOT. HE WHO LAUGHS LAST THINKS SLOWEST. ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU'RE UNIQUE, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. LOTTERY: A TAX ON PEOPLE WHO ARE BAD AT MATH. EAT MORE LAMB.  10,000 COYOTES CAN'T BE WRONG. HARD WORK HAS A FUTURE PAYOFF.  LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW. PURITANISM: THE HAUNTING FEAR THAT SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE MAY BE HAPPY. CONSCIOUSNESS: THAT ANNOYING TIME BETWEEN NAPS. I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY.  I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT. ALL GENERALIZATIONS ARE FALSE. CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, EXCEPT FROM A VENDING MACHINE. JUST KEEP HONKING - - - I'M RELOADING. I WANT TO DIE QUIETLY IN MY SLEEP LIKE GRANDPA, NOT KICKING AND SCREAMING LIKE THE PEOPLE IN THE CAR HE WAS DRIVING.